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| As I gripped the rock, |
Ideas
Was anyone behind you or ahead of you?
Describe the weather.
Explain how you felt.
Describe in careful detail what you could see.
What did you spot that could help you?
Where were you trying to get to?
Describe the sounds around you.
Explain what you could smell.
Choose to use sentence openers to move your story on:
- When
- If
- After
- While
- Despite
- Although
- Whenever
As I gripped the rock, my feet went up in the air and I was so scared because I didn’t know what was going to happen. The sky was blue and had bleached enormous clouds. You could see loads of houses in the distance with small chimneys. The stones are all unsteady and they started to fall and all break in bits and at the bottom was a man who was doing walking along the paths at the bottom of the cliff. My hair which was brown was hanging down from the cliff I was so frightened. I screamed aaaaaaaaaa.
ReplyDeleteHi Milla,
DeleteI like how you described the little weedy chimneys. I like how you said the clouds were bleached. Hey, Im wondering did the man that was walking see you, and help you?
Bye,
Asa.
I like your writeing beacause it was interesting and a lots of ajetive and discabing the felling.
Deletest.shephen internatchnal school by:JJ
awesome! but if i never want to be you if it real because it feel scary
DeleteI like your story because it have lot of good describing.
DeleteBy:Mew y4ks
LOVELY DISCRIPTION ,I ALSO LOVED THE VOCAB AND PUNCTUATION YOU DID FABULOUSLY GREAT .IT MAKES ME HAPPY TO SEE YR5 PUTTING TIME INTO THESE PEICES OF WRITING OVER THE WEEK :):):):)!
DeleteAs I griped the rock, my legs flung back into the air because I was on a bit of the cliff where it was sticking out and there was a great fall I dare say it was fifty feet off the rough ground with tyre marks on them. It was the scariest feeling I had ever had. Whilst I was worrying about myself I didn’t release there was a king cobra at the top of the cliff. Finally I go to the top with a lot of anxiety in me I ran to where the king cobra wasn’t so he couldn’t inject his bitterness in me.
ReplyDeleteHI Paige,
DeleteI like how you said, "I ran to the other side, so he couldn't inject his bitterness into me." What does scariest mean?
Bye,
Asa
Hi Paige,
DeleteI think you were really exciting because their was a king cobra and a very scary cliff.I like a lot of your words.
By Prim Y4ks
scariest is another word for very very scarey
DeleteAs I gripped the rock, my feet went up in the air and I was so scared because I didn’t know what was going to happen. The sky was blue and had bleached enormous clouds. You could see loads of houses in the distance with small chimneys. The stones are all unsteady and they started to fall and all break in bits and at the bottom was a man who was doing walking along the paths at the bottom of the cliff. My hair which was brown was hanging down from the cliff I was so frightened. I screamed aaaaaaaaaa.
ReplyDeleteI like your comment! it is intresting and it was very good:)
DeleteAs I was in the NASA space station, I could see the amazing detailed asteroid going to hit Mars. As I saw that I ran out to the HighFopia telescope. I looked through it. All I could see was a big enflamed burnt fireball hitting Mars at 6000 miles per hour. I ran to the gear station and put on a suit and I tried to climb the mountain rock. Was there anybody there to save it? That I didn’t know.
ReplyDeleteAs I gripped the rock, I felt a blustering wind go straight passed me like a knife going into a potato. It blew me up to the top of it. I grazed my hand. It was like a razor sharp blade going through my hand.
A few hours later, to me it felt like a dream but it wasn’t. Everyone else said it was true.
Hi Joshua,
DeleteI like how you said like a''knife going threw a potato.'' And how you said '' a razor sharp blade going through my hand." So 100 word assignment, wow!
Bye,
Asa
That was a amazing I want to go to the space to.
DeleteHANING ON!
ReplyDeleteAs I griped the rock, I was hanging on. Because there is a colossal drop. There I am hanging and at the top there is a panda running franticly towards the edge if it doesn’t stop it will fall and squish me. If I could signal a helicopter I would. Despite the fact the pander has put me unconscious, a helicopter managed to find me.
Dear Ben,
DeleteNice story. I don't know what I would do for this writing assignment. I want to read more of your story. I like the part, in the story, where you mention the panda.
From,
Max
Dear Ben,
DeleteWhat a fantastic story.I like the word(franticly) your
using.What happend when the helicopter find you?
From, Mook
Y4ks
Hanging on
ReplyDeleteAs I gripped the rock, I felt my hands slipping of the rock but then a miracle happened, my hands were glued on to the rock! Then I thought how do I get the sticky glue of my hands ah! I had a sharp knife in my pocket. I got the glue of my hands and I parachuted down the rocks. when I were parachuting the parachute failed !
Dear Joshua,
DeleteNice story, where did you get the idea? I like the part in the story where your describe when your parachute fails. I also like the glue miracle.
Bye,
max
As I griped on the rock, I felt like I could get up but at looked the next sticking out bit was to big so I thought to go to the side. Suddenly the rock kept getting smaller and smaller. I had a idea but it was crazy it was the only I would survive so I jumped and a giant bird came out of the mountains and I caught me WOW! The bird saved my life, I said to the bird “why did you save my life” and then I noticed it was a robot with my… DAD INSIDE. Then he let me inside and I said to him “I thought ran away from home “ and then he answered me, he said “I did and I came here for the beautiful view. Despite that there is loads of dangerous animals. When we went to his fantastical tree house with a flat screen tv and with a mysterious couch, suddenly the bottom of the tree house fell and we went into a mysterious black hole.
ReplyDeleteDear James,
DeleteI like your story. How did you feel when you wrote this story? I likedthe tree house idea.
From,
Max
Hanging on!
ReplyDeleteAs I gripped the rock, I felt a snake luckily it was not posnus but it bite me, a at the bottom was a gorilla chassed me after the 13th rock it stopped chasing me. Finally I reached the top. When I stood up, I saw in the distance a tiger.
Dear Liam,
DeleteI loved your descriptions. What are your thoughts about your story? I also liked the gorilla chase.
From,
Max
It was intresting story I your abverb.
DeleteRun Away
ReplyDeleteAs I griped on the rock, the snake was getting closer and closer to me. I just couldn’t look down I was so scared. The snake was getting even closer. I hung on as my other hand reached for the next rock. I got scared because the snake was right below my feet but I still cared on climbing I wasn’t as scary when I got to the top because the snake got stuck. After my friend got up me and her stayed at my grandma’s house she was so surprised to see me . That night we had salad and orange juice for tea.
Dear Hannah,
DeleteI enjoyed how you described the snake coming for you. I have many questions. I would really like to read more. What genre would you say it is?
Bye,
Tryston
Dear Hannah,
DeleteI enjoyed how you described the snake coming for you. I have many questions. I would really like to read more. What genre would you say it is?
Bye,
Tryston
Dear Hannah,
DeleteI think you are very lucky because the snake got stuck and I think you are really brave to climb up the rock. I think it was really fun.
From Prim Y4KS.
I very like your and i like the way you use a interesting adjective.By ice y4ks.
DeleteHanging on!
ReplyDeleteAs I gripped the rock, I felt a snake luckily
It was not poisonous but along came the mum and dad that was poisonous so I quickly started my journey as soon as I reached the 11th rock they started to fall so I jumped to the next one
Dear Bailey,
DeleteI liked the way you introduced the snakes very well. Do the teachers give you a time limit for the story? You should become a writer when you are older.
Bye,
Tryston
100 word challenge
ReplyDeleteI was gripping onto the rockface,time was running out. Soon the dark elders would return and rise to destroy the human race but I Scathach or Scatty,was stuck on top of a mountain facing the legendery Niddhog who,was trapped in the iggrasel or, world tree until it was destroyed by Dee!
Dear Adam,
DeleteThat was a very interesting word choice that you used. I am not familiar with that word choice. The words scathach, scatty, niddhog, iggrasel, and dee.
Bye,
Tryston
Thanks Tryston ,I got them all from a book by Michel scott
DeleteAs I gripped the rock, a big massive eagle flew past me so I grabbed on to its feet and I was flying so high and then the eagle dropped me onto the ground and then I parachuted onto the ground. I was happy that I survived. After I got on the ground, I went home. And I told everyone at home . The next day I went climbing with my mates and they were called Jimmy, Tom and one more who was my best friend and he was called Harrison T .They nearly fell off but I caught hem just in time.
ReplyDeleteDear Lewis,
DeleteI really did like your story it was really descriptive. you sound like you have a very interesting imagination.
Bye,
Tryston
what a good story the people in the story must be good
DeleteAs I gripped the rock, a big giant bear ran past , it could obviously smell fear in me , it came towards me so I grabbed my bird whistle and birds appeared out of nowhere and crowded the bear “LARA” cried my PDA it was Sid. Sid was my reporter he watched my every move “God I’m glad you’re alive that was the most deadliest bears in the world despite you dying you would be falling, “said Sid gladly “thanks Sid” I said back to him “for a PDA you still save my but, you’re the best friend I can have.”
ReplyDeleteDear Lauren
DeleteWow nice story, did you come up with the story by your self? I did not get the part, ''Sid watched my ever move.'' However, I really liked it.
by
Jordan
thanks and yes i came up with it by myself
DeleteAs I gripped the rock, a big massive eagle flew past me so I grabbed on to its feet and I was flying so high and then the eagle dropped me onto the ground and then I parachuted onto the ground. I was happy that I survived. After I got on the ground, I went home. And I told everyone at home . The next day I went climbing with my mates and they were called Jimmy, Tom and one more who was my best friend and he was called Harrison T .They nearly fell off but I caught hem just in time.
ReplyDeleteDear Lewis;
DeleteWow nice story did you come up with it bye your self? Did you also make up the eagle idea? It was good, nice job.
by
Jordan
Wow how nice your story it was Lewis ?I like your nice you can described your nice story .Did you make up your eagle?
DeleteHanging on!
ReplyDeleteAS I griped on to the rock, I was hanging of with my pinky. I could smell bacon butty it made me sunnoozy. I was falling off, luckily I fell and squashed a gremlin so it started to case me around I ran as fast as I could to a cave and inside was… a massive bear eatin his bacon butty.
Dear Achie,
DeleteGood story, it was amazing. What is a bacon butty? Is it something a bear eats? It sounds good if it is not for a bear, nice story again.
bye
Jordan
There was fumny story I like your story.
Deletedid you like bacon and in the story did a bear eat your bacon
DeleteMy favorite one is your and I love your comment because it can smell bacon and it make me hungry:)
Deletea bacon butty is a sandwhich jordan
DeleteHanging on
ReplyDeleteAs I gripped the rock… a giant rock came and fell of the cliff… Then I jumped of before the rock hit me now I’m hanging on all my life quickly a helicopter saved me it was my enemy they tried to kill me so I jumped of it and through a grenade at the helicopter and it exploded and crashed despite my team saved me why did my enemy tried to save me? back at the base I was getting research my enemy it said he was a dangers all around him guards everything he was the most dangerous man in the world.
Dear Ewan,
DeleteNice story it was really nice. I liked the enemy part. I would not want to be you if it was in real life. I could really picture what was going on. Nice story.
bye
jordan
Hanging on
ReplyDeleteOne day I was camping, out in the desert because I wanted to go climbing up colossal rocks so that I could go claiming .I checked all the safety harnesses.
So off I went half way…forgot that I
was supposed to put the chalk on my hands but I had run out of chalk. I had no choice but to go back down. As I got to the bottom, I found myself nearly standing on a cobra.
Hi my name is I rak your story was awesome! I like all of your idea
Deletesuper!!!!!
from I rak
did you like climbing moutain.
DeleteAs I gripped the rock, my sweaty hands were slipping. I think it was nerves but I went down to the next rock. Carefully I took my right hand from the rock and rubbed it on my thin t-shirt with Phineas and ferb on it. I knew it was too hot to be rock climbing. There was only me left because they had all fallen off. Steadily I took my left hand off and I wiped on my t-shirt. I felt as scared as a baby barn owl starting to fly. Even though I was trying to get to the bottom I stopped half way for a few breathes and I set off again. Thankfully I got to the bottom. I was safe
ReplyDeleteI like all the adverbs you have used.
DeleteHANGING ON?!
ReplyDeleteAs I gripped the rock, a huge rock fell into the splashy sea. Next a shark leaped up at me but did not jump high enough to catch me, I was safe for a bit longer. I began to climb up the, rocks because the sea was getting higher, and the sharks were jumping higher too. I climbed and climbed then my finger slipped! Luckily I did not fall into the raging sea.
Sound fun and scary. BY:willwill
DeleteYou very lucky that you didnt fall into the raging sea
Deletethanks i enjoyed doing it too.
DeleteAs I gripped o the rock a giant, gloomy, horrible snake came out of nowhere. I climbed the mountain as fast as I could. The snake slithered as fast as it could I was tremendously scared. I was only half way up the gigantic mountain. I said in my mind I should go faster. Just then I remembered my Killer knife so I got it out and tried killing but I missed a few times just then I nearly got in. then I got it yes!! But more heads came out what!!! The snake slithered so fast that I yearly fell off. I called for HELP!!!But no one help me Whilst I was on the mountain I climbed up I was only a quarter up the humongous mountain. the snake lost grip and nearly fell off the snake hit a rock and fell off Phew I climbed right up to the mounting and I rested for 3 hours on top on off the mountain and had a drink and nearly fell asleep on the top of the mountain. Then I called for help I had my phone I called my friends to help me on the mountain. They got a helicopter.
ReplyDeleteI really like all the description you used at the beginning.
DeleteAs I gripped the rock I was running away from a poisonous snake so it didn’t bite my leg. I kicked it and it fell down on the grownd so I tried to clim up on top on the rock and I did not climb on top of it but it did not work so I stayed on the rock. When I try to clim up the rock I saw another snake so I kicked it on the ground. after I jumped off and pulled my parachute and I got on the grownd I saw 10 spiders running towods me so I kick the 10 spiders and went to clim on top of the big rock and I did it so I went back home and went to have my tea and went to play out for a while and then I went to the shop to buy a drink and then I went back home to have a bath and wach a bit of telly. I went on the computer to pley some games and hav a drink and pleyd on the PS3 and watch my hamsters clean his bed and turn the telly of and went to brush my teeth and went to cleen my hands and went to sleep.
ReplyDeleteIt was scared when you saw a snake I think the snake almost bite your leg because the snake alway be fast if you stand still the snake don't bite you,it was hand to clim up to the top of the rock, I also like your story. By:4ks
DeleteAlessandro,
DeleteI would be so afraid of the spiders. I would like to hear more details about the spiders and the snakes. What did they look like? Did the snake make a sound? It sounded like a busy day.
Mrs. Hart
As I gripped the rock, I slowly started to fall down.
ReplyDeleteHarrison I would love to read the rest of your story. It has a good start.
DeleteMrs. Hart
EPJA
Hanging on!
ReplyDeleteOne day I went rock climbing and nearly broke my arm. after a while I was searching for interesting stuff it was like an adventure I walked miles and miles. whilst I went a long It was a little bit scary at first but then I liked it was well fun and awesome.
Hi Subhan,
DeleteHow did you almost break your arm? Why were you a little big scared? What was awesome?
Bye,
Asa
Hi my name is I rak and I like what you thinking is going to be a exciting adventure one day :)
DeleteThis was interestihg story and don't forget capital laters.
DeleteI like your story because it have alots of intresting word.
Deleteby:Mew y4ks
Good story subhan. how did you almost break your arm. I like your description. 4jp moorside primary school
ReplyDelete